End of Year 2009

Isn`t that sad when you look back and can`t remember anything that you did extraordinarily well?

Isn`t that pathetic when you know that you can be brave and make a change to your life while you just played safe and did nothing?

Isn`t that miserable living a life like a walking dead? Which exactly what I am doing now!

I know much more than I think I know. I can do much more than I think I am capable of doing. But out of fucking fear, I, still am standing still. And I fucking hate that!

Why the hell a sense of self-importance is important to each individual, or at least to me?

Because, it can deliver a sense of constant excitement to your brain to make you focus on or dedicated to your work or the thing you do more than ever. It is a source of motivation, a driven energy, drives you closer toward your goals and dreams.

Did you ever feel excited or very satisfied with the compliment from your boss or your colleagues? What do you think you really get from that compliment? Isn`t that the feeling of being appreciated, being valued, the feeling that you know you are important to them? So you should ask, what is wrong with it?

Normally, there is nothing wrong with it except that your sense of importance comes from other people but not from you! you are building your self-worthiness based on others` opinions, but not yours. Simply put, you are dependent on others.

The worst thing about dependency is you are fragile, vulnerable, emotionally controlled by others` weakness. Trust me, as long as you are dependent, you are weak!

People wouldn`t care what kind of life you want or what kind of future you are planning for yourself. No one gives a shit about what you will become and who you will be. So, don`t expect to get the feeling of self-importance from other individuals, that`s pathetic. Evaluate your own importance yourself and tell yourself that you are indispensible. And start act like one, and don`t give a shit about what people think. Do this often, can help you build your self-confidence!

Predicament

Did you ever see a dress look terrific on the model, thought it would be terrific on you and bought it without trying it on?

I did. Many times. And it looks awful on me. I regret it every single time for every single dress I bought without actually knowing whether it fits me!

I did that again, it is not dress this time, but a job, a task comes with responsibility. It is not that I am inadequate for the job, but that it is a time-consuming job. It is always urgent but not important, trivial matters only, you barely can learn things from it. Simply put, not beneficial, not to me at least.

In a very large percent of time in our lives, we are dealing with urgent but not important matters. Like a ringing phone, an unanswered doorbell. These are not important, but urgent, they keep bugging you til you answer them. It is the same with the job I am taking. You have to be there to respond to it whenever, wherever.

The problem with me is that I like to separate my personal life from work. Once I am off work, I am done with work. I don`t want to be bothered, be involved in anything. At least not now, not at night during my off work hours.

But the problem with this job is that it invades my private time, forces me to give up part of my personal life. I would be like a on-call doctor. I have to be dedicated to this fucking thing unconditionally.

Everything is a tradeoff! The positive side of this job is it can promise you a fulfilling life which is be busy all the time. Some people like that, I do too. Keep busy like a bee can stop you from feeling fucking emptiness or nothingness of your life, which is a good thing because some people don`t know what they should do if they stop working and afraid to lose the purposes of life which they misperceive it as work and which they have lost long time ago.

I don`t want to be one of them. Since I am young, I am capable and willing, I would like to do something good, something extraordinary, something amazing. So to me, time is everything, time is life. That`s why I don`t want to give up my time for a job that can`t get me nothing, take me nowhere!

Having said all these, still, I haven`t decided yet! So, please, call me a coward!

Anti 'the disease of self-improvement'

http://www.mindpowernews.com/SelfImprovementDisease.htm
A friend of mine gives me this link and it is an article about 'the disease of self-improvement'.

And the below is my response to it, hope you enjoy!

Quote: ---Have you purchased self-improvement programs or read self-improvement books that you thought were going to change your life – but nothing really changed after your purchased them? You are not alone---.

Seriously? There are two main reasons why those programs or books fail to bring any change to your life:

1)Not the right and good book or time-worthy program.

2)You never really understand those philosophy introduced in those books or programs and even if you do, you are not applying those in your daily life.

So what is self-improvement?

Self-improvement is the actions that you will take when you feel deficient or incompetent at some fields like at doing something or at some perspectives like a state of mind.

We choose to take actions, we choose to do something about ourselves because we feel and we know that we can do better and be a better me. It is an awareness, is a self-evaluation. It is a way of knowing yourself, a way of learning yourself and exploring yourself.

Quote: ---The Disease of Self Improvement is the false notion that somehow we are "deficient" and in order to be happy and successful we have to "improve" ourselves. The very act of trying to improve ourselves causes us to believe that there is something wrong with us in the first place---

What? False notion? Who are you kidding. We as human, are deficient at many things. Like I don`t know how to drive a car. So I need to join a training course to learn how to drive it. Otherwise I will never master the skill of driving a car. My point is we are really deficient at different things and unless we go into the corresponding courses to learn and improve our skills, we will never be able to do it correctly.

Another example of why we need to self-improve. Suppose you are a shy guy who never really give a presentation before a thousand of people. You are stressed and nervous, don`t know how to do it right and successfully. So what you should do is to improve your ability to present yourself in front of people. How are you going to do that? Read a book about how to give presentation and practice the skills mentioned in the book. You might learn how to organize your context, how to interact with audiences, how to warm up the atmosphere before the presentation and how to deliver your points clearly and concisely. It is self-improvement, it is knowledge that you can learn from a self-improvement book.

We choose to improve ourselves not because we think there is something wrong with us, but we know from inside that there is something we should learn to do a better job, be a better me.

Quote: ---The only thing "wrong" is your beliefs ABOUT yourself and about the way life works---

The funny thing is that we create our beliefs and control our beliefs, not the opposite. So if there is anything wrong with the beliefs that I am holding on, then there must be something wrong with me.

It is the same with life. We are the one who is leading the life, but not the life leading us. So, if there is anything wrong with the way life works, there must be something wrong with me leading a life like that.

Quote: ---So how do you begin to live your life without the need for "self improvement"? First, begin by understanding that you already have everything you need to be happy and successful.---

That`s easy. Be a dummy, live a numb life. I am sure a person with IQ of 60 don`t know such thing as 'self-improvement'. Therefore he definitely has no such kind of need either.

You have everything you need? Who are you fooling? Yourself? Yeah, you can do that. Be happy with what you have. don`t have to suffer from the feeling of self-deficiency and self-insecure. Like no pain, which in turn will no gain either.

We feel we need self-improvement because we have the desire to be superior than others, to be more competent and powerful than others. Have the urge to be heard, to be known and to be respected and valued. To get the satisfaction of importance, to be adored and even to be memorized.

It is a choice that you make for your life and a life that you choose to pursue, to live. And it is personal.

Quote: ---Because it is so deeply embedded into your psyche that you don’t even know it is there, or where to find it, you seek out self-improvement material to help you find what you ALREADY have.---

It is really annoying to hear a lie like you already have it all.

Really? You have the height to play basketball doesn`t mean you are qualified for it. It is the skill that counts but not only the physical condition. Unless you are telling me that all those NBA players know how to play basketball since they were born.

It is the teaching, learning process that matters. It is the way how it comes to your awareness that matters. Then how can we make those things that matter happen to us? This is exactly where the self-improvement comes into play.

Quote: ---Why You Have to Think for Yourself---

this is reasonable and agreeable. Good point.

Quote: ---When you think about and talk about things that are in harmony with your desires, instead of thinking about what is wrong with you and the rest of the world, you will no longer be a victim of the Disease of Self Improvement. ---

It is where you should learn to differentiate the situations of self-improvement and self-denial. For your information, there are other states of mind as well and the state that you are promoting is called self-satisfaction. All you are saying is fill your mind with what you want and forget the rest. If you live only one day or two like that, I have no problem. But if you want to live your whole life like that, you are doomed. It is a classic act of self-deceiving.

This Dr. really know how to fill your mind with shit.

Quote: ---But you have to experience it from the inside out – not the outside in. ---

this is the sentence that I like most or I found most useful. However, it is imposed with twisted views. What a pity.

Quote: ---If you live your life from the outside in you will be controlled by your mind. ---

If we are not supposed to be controlled by our minds, then what are we supposed to be controlled by? Are we going to be surrogates and let`s the surrogates be us and control our minds? (the opposite scenario of 'Surrogate' by Bruce Willis') Do explain Dr.

Quote: ---Once you understand how to cooperate with the principles of quantum physics and the Law of Attraction, you will finally break out of the Self-Improvement trap for the rest of your life. ---

The masquerade of 'nothing'. Really nothing in it.

Quote: ---I do not teach self-improvement. Instead I teach people how to cure themselves from the Disease of Self improvement by creating their lives by design.---

Hmm, let`s say you have a disease of self-improvement and you don`t know it is a disease. After attending this Dr.`s session, you come to aware that you do have this disease. From not knowing to knowing, I would say it is an improvement and it is an improvement of you, you probably would call it self-improvement. Oh God, this Dr. just gives you a self-improvement lesson and he is affirmative that he don`t teach self-improvement.

I am lost here. Thank you Doc, let me confused more!

View on 'The Secret'

To be honest, since we all see ourselves as thinkers, let`s think harder to figure out what this secret is all about!

I see the movie, also listen to the audio many times. The more I digest, the more I find it ridiculous.
The ridicule is that they give the old, same, universally accepted principle a different name as 'Law of Attraction' and present it in a very very shallow way.

1) Basic Principle:
The basic principle of so called 'The Secret' or 'Law of Attraction' is, think positively, have positive attitude and be goal-oriented!
There is no such thing as if you think about it, have your mind occupied with it, then you can get it. All those examples that they tell in movie, it seems work as they say, because of the change in those persons` thoughts, their attitudes. Positive thinking brings positive attitude, which in turn will effect your behaviors, your actions dramatically. It is like being happy. When you are happy, everything seems go so smooth and pleasant even it is not. You can`t see it because you are happy, your mind is occupied with the thought that you are happy, so a little trouble can`t change your happy mood.

It is the same. It all depends on how you think, how you see, more importantly, how you interpret it and take actions. It has nothing to do with the attraction. If you get anything that you desired, then it is not that you attract it to yourself, but that your thoughts, your actions bring it to you. It is what you get by working hard, taking actions.

2) The way it presents:
Once you see and realize the basic principle that this crap movie is presenting, you can see the fact that there is *nothing*, really nothing as a valuable context in this movie except the fact many so called 'successful XXXers' in it and many examples of applying this so called 'law of attraction' which only have start and end for the story and the repeat of emphasizing that it all is because they apply the law of attraction.

How a shirt become a lucky shirt? how a number become a lucky number? Because when good things happn, he is wearing that shirt. When you get what you desired, the number somehow related to it. It is pure coincidence, but some of us believe that it is these lucky things that attract the good things.

So, the problem is: is it? if you think it is, then I got nothing to argue, because I can`t persuade a person who embrace this kind of thought.

In a nutshell, really, there is nothing deep and profound in this movie because there is nothing in it!

Well, that`s my opinion obviously!

Presentation skills
I am very grateful for being here and have this opportunity to talk on the subject of the presentation skills .
As you all know, our TMC`s mission is to improve the presentation skills as well as other communication skills of each individual as a member.
So, I will talk about presentation skills and hoping that you all can benefit from it in one way or another!

No need to say, there are thousands of presentation skills that actually can improve the way you present yourself in front of others. And the following skills that I am going to talk about will be just the tip of an iceberg.

The problem is, more often, not that you know nothing about these skills, but that you never try to imply these skills in your presentation or speech. It is, in fact, all about awareness, about learning and practicing. I know the steps or procedures that need to drive a car, but until I actually get into a car, hold its steering wheel and step on its accelerograph, I would never know how exciting it can be or how panic I might feel to be really at the wheel. The same with these skills, unless you use it in your speech, you will never know how useful or effective they might be, and how they actually make a difference. All I am saying is, if you never practice what you have learnt, then you never really learned it.

So, now, I will present you with some of presentation skills that I personally see it as useful as others:
1. Use a simple structure for your talk:
1) The opening: the purpose of the opening is to get the audience`s attention, build expectations and focus listeners on the speaker. There is no point in talking if no one is listening or paying attention.
2) The introduction: this is where you tell the audience what is coming and why it is important.
3) First point, the transition into the next point, the second point, another transition and another point.
4) The summary: this is your conclusion and there is where you reemphasize your points.

2.Use PREP formula to express your points, deliver your ideas and thoughts:
1)P: point of view—state your thought, idea or fact at the beginning.
2)R: reasons – state your reasons for holding this point of view or idea.
3)E: example – illustrate, reinforce or prove your point of view.
4)P: point of view – restate the first P to emphasize your idea, more like a summary or conclusion.

3.By using PPT, the audience can understand the speaker better and follow him or her easier as well. There are many ways that you can make a great use of PPT. And the way I am suggesting here mainly applies to a small talk, a short-time presentation, like what we do here, in TMC. If use PPT, only put a few key words on the each slide. Otherwise, your audience will be busy reading the screen rather than listening to you. The most important asset of your presentation is you, is the speaker. We, as audience, are supposed to get the idea or thought from the speaker, but not from the screen. Otherwise, why don`t you just hand out the pamphlet instead right? So, do the audience or yourself a favor, try to be the focus, be the center of the attention, don`t let the screen get the best of your speech.

4.Defeat the fear. Fear is just one type of your emotions. Just like happy or upset. You know how to make yourself happy right? Buying a new laptop can make me happy. Listening to my favorite BON JOVI`S songs can make me happy. Having a delicious food can also make me happy. We all know how to make ourselves happy. We all know how to change our moods from unhappy to happy. It is the same. If you can feel the fear, then you can defeat that fear as well. The problem is how? Well, here are some methods for your reference and please try it out and see if it works for you:
1)Shift your focus: instead of thinking: the audience seems get bored, I must be doing a terrible job. You should think: maybe I should slow down a little bit, so that the audience have time to digest and I have time to organize my thoughts. See, you are shifting your focus from worrying about something that you have no control of to adjusting your pace, your way of delivering message. The more you focus on what you do, the better result you can get.
2)Think positively: we all heard a story that an old woman has two daughters Jane & Jenny. Jane is selling bumbersoll while Jenny is selling umbrella. What usually the old woman does is: In a sunny day, she worries about Jenny who sells umbrella and in a rainy day, she worries about Jane who sells bumbersoll. Do you know what she should be doing instead? In a sunny day, she should be happy for Jane having a good business day and in a rainy day, she should be happy for Jenny. It is all about how you think positively.
3)Know your fear and don`t run away from it, run over it. Do what you fear to do. We are all afraid of standing in front of strangers and giving public speech. Then grasp any chance you can to give public speech. Time after time, I assure you that you will start enjoying it instead of fearing of it. Practice makes perfect. And it is true. When you do the same thing many times, it will be just a piece of cake to you.
5.Find your confidence! When you do something that you are good at, I am pretty sure that you are full of confidence. But do you know why? Because you have the knowledge, that is what to do, the skills, how to do and the attitude, want to do. By having these three factors: knowledge + skills + attitude, you feel and know that you will do good. It is the same with giving presentation. First, you have to possess the knowledge –the subject, and the clear views or opinions about this subject. Second, you have to possess the skills – the way you present yourself, and your subject. Third, the attitude – you have to have the desire, the passion to talk about the subject and more importantly, you have to believe in yourself, and to believe that you have the ability to do that.

Of course, to possess these three things, you have homework to do, that would be preparation. So take your presentation seriously and prepare it thoroughly.

Now, to sum up, adopt a simple structure for your talk, use PREP formula to express your points, use PPT appropriately and find a way to get rid of your fear and most of all, be confident!

It is the end of my speech, so thanks!

The audacity to win by David Plouffe

David Plouffe is an American political strategist best known as the chief campaign manager for Barack Obama's 2008 presidential campaign in the United States.

In May, 2008, David Axelrod praised Plouffe, stating he had "done the most magnificent job of managing a campaign that I've seen in my life of watching presidential politics. To start something like this from scratch and build what we have built was a truly remarkable thing." After winning the election on November 4, Obama credited Plouffe in his acceptance speech, calling him "the unsung hero of this campaign, who built the . . . best political campaign, I think, in the history of the United States of America."

What a man!!!

Oracle Open World 2009

Oracle Open World 2009 conference is held from Oct, 11th to Oct, 14th in Moscone Center in San Francisco, California.

It is much like an ICITFS 2009 conference held by Statestreet which lasts for 3 days in Yuquan Campus, Hangzhou. The difference is that the CEOs of very large and prestigious companies come to OOW to give speeches, while we are not able to invite that kind of heavy-weight guests or speakers in our conference.

OOW is tremendous and incredible. Some videos, audios and presentations as well as transcripts of certain speeches were uploaded to Oracle OpenWorld website (http://ondemandpreview.vportal.net/) and shared by thousands and thousands of people who are not able to attend live.

I am thrilled to see my giant imaginary mentor, oracle guru Thomas Kyte`s session which is the only technical session that is recorded! The session went very well, as he puts it himself ‘it went well. Everyone laughed when they were supposed to, and didn't when they weren't. Even got a bit of spontaneous applause every now and then’;

I want to go over all the session videos that are available but I can`t. I only get the time to watch some of them like Tom`s of course, Larry Ellison--Oracle`s co-founder and current CEO as well as special guest, Chief Executive of California -- Arnold Schewarzenegger.

The thing that Larry mainly talks about is the big picture and the general directions that Oracle as well as Sun is to going to take. How amazing features will be built into Oracle in future. And how oracle`s products are performing well comparing to others`. It is really attractive future and we all look forward to it. At the end of his speech, he invite the Arnold Schewarzenegger to give a speech and he did and it was brilliant and funny! I will not elaborate his speech here, but one thing I like to mention is that: Arnold is here not because of the success of those terminator`s movies, but his true talent and real capability!

At the end, Larry presents Arnold a nice Oracle BMW Americas Cup racing jacket!

Goals

I have very simple and clear goals:

to be as elegant and beautiful as Lily from "GOSSIP GIRL".

to be as knowledgeable and sophisticated as Thomas Kyte from Oracle.

to be as good at english as native speakers.

Time limit is five years!

Watch me!